What are you taking a stand for?
One of the coaches I work with once asked me this question: what do you take a stand for? At that time, it was about my relationship with my parents. Now I realize it’s about everything in life. What do I take a stand for?
A passive life with unexamined beliefs
Sometimes in life, it can feel like we’re simply living, not the joyful and present living, but the going-through-the-motions and out-of-body living. Things just seem to happen to us. Whether it’s a great job opportunity we passed or a tough conversation we decided not to have because it’s easier to avoid, we unconsciously become the ghosts where life-defining moments and events slip right through us.
With the ongoing anti-racism and Black Lives Matter movement, I felt a need to re-examine some of my past experiences. On a Sunday in 2014 August, I saw the news about the Ferguson protest regarding the death of Michael Brown. I felt an undeniable shock and anger at my core. The second day at a companywide standup, I brought up the news in the hope of opening a discussion. To my surprise, no one followed up or commented. The standup host went right over me to the next person, without even a slight acknowledgment of the injustice and violence. I was left to wonder whether I should have said anything at all. Was I too political? Was it not a socially acceptable thing to talk about? I had so many unanswered questions. Without anyone to talk to or experience to reference, what I did end up believing was that I should not have stood up and shared.
That belief followed me for the years after. What I didn’t realize was that its impact is not only on my attitude on racial issues but also on my positions and stands on various other aspects. In many seemingly unrelated moments, I would question if I should stand up and voice my opinions, or if I should make an active decision on changing a situation that no longer works for me.
We don’t have to all be activists, but we can make a conscious choice about how we want to show up in life. To begin the journey, we need to examine what we already know.
Write down your beliefs
What beliefs do you currently hold? Write down as many as you can. A belief is a thought you believe to be true, either based on your experience, or something you acquired from elsewhere.
Get comfortable (or uncomfortable) with the beliefs
The power of intuition is often underplayed. Because when we can’t rationally make sense of something yet, we tend to dismiss that information and think of it as silly and unimportant. The truth is, our body hosts a lot of wisdom. It often knows before our mind does. Go through your list one by one, and check-in with your intuition as you do so. For each question, gently ask yourself, “How do I feel about this belief? Does it serve me? In what way?” Some of your beliefs may show up as tension in your body. There may be a slight inkling in your stomach or tightness in the shoulder or chest. It would be an excellent opportunity to ask yourself why it shows up this way.
Explore alternatives
For those beliefs that seem to be on shaky grounds, I have good news - you don’t have to believe them. These are your thoughts, meaning that you get to choose what you want to believe. So what changes do you want to make? What shifts do you need to make happen to make it serve you? Try a few different options and notice how your sensations and feelings change.
Take a new stand
At this point, you should have a few new beliefs you’d like to try. Maybe you decide it would serve you to be more vocal in group discussions. Or an uncomfortable but candid conversation with your boss would be better than running away. Or a shift needs to happen in your daily routine for you to be healthier and happier. What do you commit to? What is your first step?
A word on intuition and instinct
There are many different ways of interpreting intuition, both in philosophy and spirituality. It generally refers to the ability to acquire knowledge without directly relying on the conscious mind’s reasoning. It is different from instinct, which is a reaction to environmental stimuli, often in the form of behaviour. If we are in the mode of “going-through-the-motions,” we don’t make active choices and react to whatever comes up to us. In my previous example, I clammed up because of a fear that I was causing discomfort. If I had access to my intuition, I would see that discomfort is not the issue here. Acting impulsively on instincts means that we’re missing the precious opportunity to acquire wisdom from our awareness.
Whether it’s life or work, we always have a choice about how we want to show up. I commit to take a stand for what I believe in and to share it with the world. I will do my best to fight against injustice and help as many people as possible. This is a life’s work, and I commit to showing up every day and try. What about you?
