Transform anxiety into creativity
How to lead yourself in difficult times
Anxiety is a topic close to my heart. It's been an old friend of mine for as long as I can remember. Especially after I became a team leader, my anxiety has grown to be more palpable.
But you don't have to be a leader to others to feel anxious. It can be anywhere and everywhere. At this particular moment in history, the world is anxious about our collective fate, the war in Ukraine, and the continuing impact of Covid-19. On top of the societal backdrop, you may also be experiencing anxiety in other parts of your life and work. It could be an especially stressful project with lots of organizational attention. Or the loss of centeredness in the first few months of a new job. Or the stress of being surrounded by the "incompetent others" (this is an interesting one - I'll get back to it later).
Anxiety can steal our joy and productivity. It creates (very) uncomfortable and visceral sensations, from racing heartbeats to high blood pressure to tight chests. In the long run, anxiety can damage our physical and mental health. As if that's not enough, anxiety is also contagious. In a system like a family or company, how others manage their anxiety can directly affect those around them.
After years of battling with my own anxiety and observing how others handle it, I've learned that being able to manage our own anxiety healthily is a critical leadership skill. Essentially, you have the power to make it better or worse for yourself as well as those around you. You get to control how you react at any moment. Today I'm sharing a few tips that can help you in your journey.
Know your anxiety symptoms
Like how you'd approach any problem, start with observation. According to Dr. Brené Brown, anxiety is usually accompanied by worrying (even though it doesn't help). When we are wrapped up in anxiety, not only can we not think clearly (potentially stuck in the fight/flight/freeze mode), we may also feel a decrease in self-esteem. Simply put, we lose perspectives and objectivity.
In Dr. Harriet Lerner's book The Dance of Fear, she described five different styles of managing anxiety:
Underfunctioning
Tend to become less competent under stress, and have difficulty showing your strong, competent side to intimate others. Thus inviting others to take over for you (overfunction).
Overfunctioning
Move in quickly to advise, rescue, and take over. Feel you know what's best for everyone and struggle to allow others to struggle with their own problems. It often shows up as judgment of others and feeling superior to others.
Blaming
Abdicate your responsibilities and blame others for the situation. It's worth noting that there is a difference between blaming and being open. When you blame, you overfocus on what the other person is doing to you.
Distancing/avoidance
It means "not showing up and often spending a lot of energy zigzagging around and away from that thing that already feels like it's consuming us" (definition by Brené Brown). You may notice that you avoid a particular person or situation. Although being able to protect ourselves is important, prolonged avoidance becomes disengagement, fatigue, and burnout.
Gossip, gossip, gossip
This may show up as "overtalking." You may feel the need to let everyone know about the terrible situation because of someone else. But instead of talking to that person directly, you talk behind their backs. Unconsciously, you are also passing the anxiety onto others.
Knowing your anxiety management style helps you become more aware when you inevitably get caught in it. Personally, I have exhibited all 5 different styles at different times. For example, I had completely taken over a project because the team wasn't performing (overfunctioning and blaming) when I was under heavy pressure from the leadership and engineering team. At a different time, when I felt the nagging worries to deal with my personal finances, I may avoid it altogether.
Drop back into your body
Anxiety is an emotion fueled by thinking and worrying, and at times it can feel like tunnel vision. To shift out of anxiety, we first need to shift out of the unhelpful thinking mode.
Pick one of the following grounding techniques to get back into your body. Once you finish the grounding exercise, notice how different your body feels.
Intentional breathing (2 minutes). Turn your focus inward to your breathing. With each breath, feel the rise and fall of your stomach/chest. Pay close attention to how your body moves with each breath as if you can slowly trace it.
The 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 technique. At this moment, name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can taste, and 1 thing you can smell.
Tactile sensation (2 minutes). Gently rub two fingertips together with such attention that you can feel the grooves on your fingertips. Keep breathing.
Connect with your creativity
When you are in anxiety mode, you become reactive and cannot see the other side (or multiple sides) of the same issue. Once you are back in your body, new pathways to connect with your best ally - creativity - open up.
I have had clients/coworkers in the past tell me that they don't think of themselves as creative. The truth is that everyone possesses some measure of creativity. It doesn't have to always be artistic or world-changing, and it is indeed a muscle that can be strengthened over time.
If you need a little boost, think of something you love doing, be it hiking, cooking, crafting, reading, etc. Eliminate all distractions such as your phone and focus on doing that one thing. For instance, if you cook, pay close attention to the ingredients' texture, smell, weight, and colors. See how much detail you can notice.
What we are hoping to achieve here is a flow state. According to psychologists Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and Jeanne Nakamura, a flow state (or being in the zone) happens when you are fully immersed in something you are passionate about. This state is essential in breaking us out of the rut and mental chatter. It helps us feel connected to something bigger and meaningful and fuels creativity.
It is human to be anxious, and just like any other emotion, it doesn't last forever. Whether you are an existing or emerging leader, being able to turn it into creativity time and again is a process of cultivating resilience. Learn about your anxiety management styles, know how your styles impact a system, practice shifting out of it, and reconnect with creativity are some of the key steps to begin with. Together we can create more peace and joy that the world desperately needs right now. ♡
